dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
