ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
