Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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