You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
