I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
