I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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