she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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