Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
