I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
