I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
