For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
