I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
