Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
