How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Found the puke drawer
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
