Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
