i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
