I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
