I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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