You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
