They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You ate ashes out of my bong
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
