Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
