I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
