For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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