no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
