I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
