Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
