We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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