After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
