I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
