If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
