my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
