Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
