The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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