So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
