bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Someone came in the potted fern
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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