it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My breasts were aching with rage.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Everclear isn't food dammit
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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