you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
