I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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