I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
