??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
