He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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