Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
