Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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