u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
is that a dick in a sweater?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
