He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
