Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
