Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
