I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
