Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
