just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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